You may have heard that your eldest is going to feel jealous and resentful of her new little sibling. This idea has been around since Freud, but the fact is, “the science doesn’t support it,” said Brenda Volling, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Michigan. In a 2017 analysis of the research literature, Dr. Volling and her colleagues concluded that “most children experience little to no disruption after the birth of their infant sibling.” Many kids, she said, feel quite excited about their new little siblings. This doesn’t mean the transition won’t be difficult – a baby is a big change for everyone – but typically, Dr. Volling said, families feel somewhat back to normal after a few months.¶¶Still, older siblings notice that they are no longer getting all the attention, so set aside time, if you can, to spend with them one-on-one. (This can be tough for breastfeeding moms, but it may be possible if you have a partner or grandparent who can help.) Praise your older child, too, when he does something kind or helpful. “Bring some of the attention back to him so he can feel this moment of pride that, ‘Yeah, I’m a big boy and a big brother and I’ve been helping out too,'” Dr. Volling suggested. And when your older child gets frustrated with his sibling – as will inevitably happen – acknowledge his feelings, but also set limits. You’re mad that the baby grabbed your teddy bear! But she doesn’t understand that it’s yours, and no matter how upset you feel, it’s not O.K. to hit.